


God Made Idiots for Practice (Then He Made School Boards)

by MissMorphine



Series: The Person Responsible for Making Public Speaking a Required Class Should be Fired [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Gen, and probably turn your head sideways, but you really need to squint, if you squint really really hard you might see some pairings, this is a prologue!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:17:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5839537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMorphine/pseuds/MissMorphine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Public Speaking had always had the lowest enrollment rate at Ylisstol High School. Students preferred taking art or music classes instead of the ever nerve-wracking option of speaking in front of an entire class. Students thought that they were lucky enough to not need a class on public speaking -- until the school board announced that Public Speaking had been changed from an elective to a requirement for graduation."</p><p>The students of Ylisstol High have live rather happily without taking a class on public speaking; why do they need to take one now? Under the watchful eye of Phila, Public Speaking will be filled with shenanigans, revelations, and new relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	God Made Idiots for Practice (Then He Made School Boards)

**Author's Note:**

> So, background. I've been teaching at a middle school since September, and my kids would always complain to me about one class: Public Speaking. Every student had to take it, and most of the students outright hated it. I had one student who would tell me every Monday that she was going to die because she had Public Speaking, and my students' misery turned into a high school AU for Fire Emblem (because I'm the nerdy teacher).
> 
> Also, if you squint really, really, really, really hard, you might seen some hints of Lucina/Severa, Owain/Cynthia, and Gerome/Inigo. And I mean it, you have to squint so hard that your eye doctor will burst into the room and yell at you.
> 
> The title is a paraphrase of a Mark Twain quote "In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Public Speaking had always had the lowest enrollment rate at Ylisstol High School. Students preferred taking art or music classes instead of the ever nerve-wracking option of speaking in front of an entire class. Students thought that they were lucky enough to not need a class on public speaking -- until the school board announced that Public Speaking had been changed from an elective to a requirement for graduation.

Students were trickling in slowly after their lunch period. Lucina, unsurprisingly, had been the first to arrive in the class and had taken a seat in the front of the room. Of course, she had no reason to be nervous; she was captain of the debate team and one of the only few students who voluntarily signed up for Public Speaking before it was mandatory.

On the other hand, Lucina’s younger brother Inigo slinked into the classroom and immediately found a spot in the back. His legs were bouncing with nervous energy. Despite his boisterous personality and penchant for flirting with anyone with a pulse, he had crippling stage fright; he never did well with introductions to the class, let alone getting up and making a speech in front of them.

“Do you think we’ll get to perform in class?” asked Owain excitedly. He had chosen a spot in the back, next to his cousin, and was oblivious to Inigo’s discomfort. “Perchance my skill with the pen shall translate onto the stage! But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.” Inigo rolled his eyes as Owain continued with the soliloquy. He would have been impressed at Owain’s memorization if they hadn’t read _Romeo and Juliet_ as freshmen and Owain begged to read for Romeo every day -- which was far more forgivable than when he thought it was a good idea to speak Shakespearean language in regular conversation for about three weeks.

“Isn’t Inigo supposed to be the one quoting bad romance lines?” Severa retorted. The redhead was joined by Cynthia -- who waved enthusiastically -- and Kjelle -- who was already leaving to sit next to Lucina to attempt to convince her to join the volleyball team.

“Aw…” Cynthia pouted. “I thought his recital was good!” Cynthia smiled brightly, and Owain smiled back almost bashfully. Severa caught the blushes rising on both their faces and rolled her eyes. She escaped over to Kjelle and Lucina and sat behind the blue-haired girl; even if her friends were in the front row, there was no way Severa would ever willingly sit in the front row.

A young woman with light blue haired pulled into a tight braided bun walked into the classroom. She stood in the doorway, greeting students as the majority of the class ambled in. Severa took one look at the woman before groaning and slumping in her chair; their teacher was one of her mother’s closest friends, Phila.

Brady and Noire arrived together, both of them having come from the nurse’s office. Laurent walked into the classroom and took the seat next to Lucina to have the perfect view of the white boards, and Gerome picked a corner in the back with at least one desk in-between him and the nearest person. Nah picked a seat in the middle, refusing to sit in the front because it would draw attention to her lack of height but also knowing that she’d never be able to see in the back.

The twins, Severa’s younger siblings, burst into the classroom in the middle of a conversation that could only make sense to them. One look from Severa, and the twins knew not to sit next to her; they opted for the much safer option of sitting with Nah instead. Yarne was the last to arrive, skittering in just before the bell rang. He looked sheepish as Phila gave him a stern glance before picking up a stack of papers and passing them out. The top of the paper broke down the course by each marking period: introduction to public speaking, informative speeches, debates, and performance.

“Although many of you did not choose this course,” Phila began, “you will be expected to perform at your best. Slacking off is not tolerated in my classroom, nor is lateness. I expect you to be prepared everyday with the materials listed on the syllabus. During the first marking period, you will learn about techniques of public speech, vocal variation, enunciation, and other essential components of speaking effectively in public.

“You will begin presenting speeches in class during the second marking period. You are expected to research the assigned topic and write an informative speech. You need not worry about persuading the audience; we will cover that in the third marking period, the debate unit. In addition to making persuasive speeches, you will participate in formal debates with your classmates. As Lucina can tell you, you will be given a debate partner and you will both argue your side of the issue.

“Finally, the last marking period will be acting and performances.” Owain lit up and nudged Inigo excitedly. Inigo smiled back weakly, already dreading it. “This will include both rehearsed performances and cold reads. If you are unfamiliar with a cold read, you will be given a scene in class to perform without having practiced it.” As Phila went more in-depth about the requirements for the first marking period, a sense of unease fell over the classroom. The students had lost their study hall for what was possibly one of the most difficult classes they would take. The only students who seemed unaffected were Lucina, Laurent, and Gerome.

Lucina thrived on challenges and had no fear for speaking in the public sector; she’d been to countless events with her Aunt Emmeryn that required her to speak with important political figures and foreign dignitaries.

Laurent was as level-headed as his mother. Nerves did not often affect him, and he could hardly imagine being frightened by something as simple as public speaking. He had participated in enough academic tournaments that stage fright was a foreign concept to him.

As for Gerome, well, no one could tell if Gerome was affected or not. His expression was still at his default: neutral, with just a hint of annoyance.

The rest of the students ranged from nervous to excited -- well, actually the latter was just Owain. One look at Owain’s notebook would show notes for a screenplay intermixed with the notes he was taking in class. By the time class was over, nearly every student had the same thought on their minds: they were not going to survive this class.

 

* * *

 

“I’m literally going to die,” whined Inigo. Cynthia patted Inigo’s hand sympathetically before walking up to the counter and getting a tray of cookies from her father to bring to the table. Her parents’ bakery had become the place for their group to convene, mostly because of the free baked goods.

“I don’t think you understand the meaning of the word ‘literally,’ Inigo,” Gerome said with a sigh. “You cannot physically die from speaking in front of twenty-six people. Regardless, you have at least two months before you need to speak in front of the class.” Inigo sniffled and smiled; it was the closest to comfort that Gerome would be willing to give him. With Cynthia helping her father in the back and Owain describing his latest story -- something about a flaming emblem and exalted blood? -- to Brady, Inigo was getting some very rare alone time with Gerome.

“You always know how to make me feel good, Gerome,” Inigo said. Gerome flushed red and grumbled about how people would overhear Inigo and think the wrong thing. Before Inigo could say anything else, Severa had taken Cynthia’s previous seat and Lucina was next to her.

“Are you as excited as I am for Public Speaking?” asked Lucina. Her avid tone was met with two glares and one blank stare.

“Lucina, no one is excited for Public Speaking except you and Owain,” Severa replied, “and Owain is still under the delusion that we’re taking some sort of acting class.” Upon seeing the crestfallen look on Lucina’s face, Severa mumbled that the class would probably be better than everyone thought.

“You’ll all love Ms. Phila,” exclaimed Lucina. “She’s been such a wonderful coach for the debate team.” Inigo and Severa exchanged skeptical looks; was she really talking about the same woman who ran their first class like she was a garrison leader?

“Yeah, she seems about as sweet as Say’ri’s tea,” Inigo quipped. Lucina looked at her younger brother with a genuinely confused expression on her face.

“Inigo, Say’ri drinks very bitter tea,” replied Lucina. Inigo sighed, about to explain the joke before thinking better of it and dropping the subject.

Going to the bakery after school had brought some much needed levity, although it wouldn’t last long with the expectations that came with returning to school after the summer. The teenagers chatted away, still reveling in the fading feeling of summer before school became a priority once again. Regardless of how each person felt about the new school year, they could all agree on one thing: the person responsible for making Public Speaking a required class should be fired.

**Author's Note:**

> This was basically just the prologue to the series. I didn't want to jump into the one-shots without laying down some groundwork...but that does mean that this is really thin on plot.
> 
> The only definite pairings that I am planning on for this universe are the ones I mentioned at the beginning: Lucina/Severa, Owain/Cynthia, and Gerome/Inigo. The rest are up in the air (though I do think I might add in a little Brady/Noire because I loved their supports). If you have any suggestions for pairings, feel free to let me know~ (but please do know that suggestions do not mean that I'm obligated to fulfill them)


End file.
